How OPPO is your motorcycle!? (Rev. 1)

"bob and john" (bobandjohn) 09/12/2020 at 09:28 • Filed to: None

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So, this is based off the how OPPO is your car. But here? we focus on the more fun 2 wheeled variety.

1: Engine

1-Cylinder : -5 points. you, and everyone’s dog have a single cylinder dirt bike.

2-Cylinder (P-twin): 0 point. this is the I4 of the bike world. not great. but not bad either

2-Cylinder (v-twin): 0 points in a cruiser, +15 points in a sportbike. yea, all cruisers have a twin. but, you have something sporty with a twin? hold the phone, you have my attention

3-Cylinder: 20 points. Wonderful, you have a triumph.

4-Cylinder: 0 points. GIXXER BROOOOO. But really, its a 4 cylinder jap sportbike. dont lie.

4 cylinder (v4): 25 points: either its a VFR, or an Aprilia or a modern Ducati. Nice, enthusiast machine. but money.

5-Cylinder: 60 points Where the hell did you find a 5 banger bike?!

6-Cylinder : 5 points. sweet. you have a gold wing.

6+-Cylinder 100 points. its either rare as fuck, or swapped.

Rotary: 50 points. A suzuki RE5? cool!

Electric: 30. brave on you for jumping into a new style man. and all that insta-torque....mmm

1.b: More engine

2-stroke: 30 points. RINGA-DING-DING-DING

Longitudinally mounted: 25 points.

Latitudinally mounted: 0 points.

Boxer/flat layout: 10 points. okay, you ride a BMW. cool . must be nice to have money.

Air Cooled: 25 points.

Diesel : 100 points. A diesel bike? eh? friggen army....

Engine not original to chassis: 25 points.

Redline: under 6K rpm: 75 points. low revver there. wow

redline: over 18K rpm: 100 points. Jesus man, spin it to win it I guess

3: Body Style

Sport : 10. i wanna give you more, but I cant man.

track bike: 25. wow, you ride enough to have a dedicated track rat? good for you

sport touring: 0 points eh, decent. I get the insurance point of view. but its a bike.

naked: 0 points. its a sport bike with less panels. sorry man.

cruiser: -5 points. why you have a mid-life crisis. why

dirt: 0 points. I wanna give you less. but i cant bring myself to do so.

muscle cruiser: ?? points. I’m not sure what to do here. I like a drag bike. V-ROD, V-max, Diavel. but how many points?

4: Wheels Driven

Front-wheel drive: 1000 points. Who. How. What. explain yourself.

All-wheel drive: 100 points. neato! explain how.

Rear-wheel drive: 0 points.

6: Transmission

manual foot shift: 0 points.

manual suicide shift: 30 points.

auto-clutch : - 10 points. come on man, sack up!

DCT/full auto: 5 points. weird that you f o und one with it. but cool!

7: Country of Origin (Home Country of Make)

China: 1 0 points. wow you brave, yet stupid SOB

Japan: 0 point.

‘Merica: 5 points.

Germany: 10 points.

Britain: 20 Points. You brave man.

Italy: 25 points. You brave fucker.

India: 40 points.

France: 50 points.

Final assembly is different: 10 points. What the hell do you mean your honda is made in Italy?

8: POWA!

0-5 hp: 25 points. You’re very brave.

5-20 hp: 5 points. You’re learning. kudos to that .

20-50 hp: 0 points.

50- 90 hp: 5 points. Not too shabby.

90-140 hp: 10 points. We like where you’re going.

140 - 180 hp: 25 points. Awesome. The power sweet spot. Not too hot, not too cold.

180 - 200 hp: 30 points. You like some speed. bastard.

200 - 250 hp: 30 points. You might be rich, but we love your taste in bikes

250+ hp: 100 points. Slow down there speedy gonzales.

9: Age

2020/21 model: 10 points. Congratulations.

4 years or younger: 5 points.

5 - 10 years: 0 points.

11 - 20 years: 10 points. You can wrench.

21 - 30 years: 20 points. You can really wrench.

31 - 40 years: 30 points. Can we have a ride? Pretty please?

41 - 50 years: 40 points.

50 - 60 years: 50 points.

1939-1959: 75 points.

Pre-WWII: 100 points. And we tip our collective cap at you.

10: Other

Carbon fiber body panel(s) or monocoque: 25 points.

airbag: 20 points. nice new g-wing.

Hydropneumatic suspension: 50 points

full set of boxes: 25 points. Oh wow, you like luggage I see.

shaft drive: 5 points.

belt drive: 5 points

chain drive: -10 points.

Negative Points: Consider your life choices.

here id where I got lost. No idea how to categorize them. help!

What other changes need to be made?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

pip bip - choose Corrour > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 09:36

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in body style, nothing for mopeds?

facw > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 09:42

5

What if my motorcycle is a bicycle?

dumpsterfire! > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:00

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Color- primary color associated with manufacturer 0 points. Custom color mix -5 points. -10 points for each airbrushed skull or eagle.

One year only factory color in original paint- all the positive points.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:03

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Surprised you let a cruiser score so high. I got 115 for a 1996 Kawasaki Vulcan 1500

Tekamul > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:08

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‘84  Honda CB450 : 45pts

‘03 Honda Magna : 25pts

‘16 Zero FXS : 45pts

I would say 2/3 of my bikes don’t have fit one of the style categories, and no transmission category for “fixed drive”.

Als o, this is making me realize how old the Magna is. Hard to believe I’ve had it 17 years.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:12

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There should be consideration for thumpers over 600cc. No way should any 701 lose 5 points.

I’d knock 3 cylinders down to 15, because I can’t condone MT09 squids getting more points than Ducatis. And that’s not a personal thing I swear.

I6 engines specifically should get points. CBX1000 is rad.

Maybe add points for displacement? 10 points for 2 strokes over 500cc, 10 points for 4 stiles strokes over 1000cc?

I’m not sure I agree that longitudinal vs latitudinal mounting should merit that many points, if any. It’s not like cars where transverse engine things are soul sucking beige-mobiles. With bikes, it’s just BMW and Moto Guzzi that are longitudinal, right?

Auto trans should be zero points. Honda makes a ton of them.

Forced induction?

ADV bikes?

90-140 hp is too big of a gap. That lumps the Africa Twin in with the FZ1. The dude doesn’t abide.

Points for dead brands? 

valsidalv, reminding you that infiniti is an option > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:14

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Points for a quickshifter?

OhCrikeyTheRozzers > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:23

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60 points for my Tiger 800 XC; are ADV bikes dirt?

Ideas:

Maybe add a Street category?

Feel like somebody rocking pint-size bikes like a Grom should get bonus points too.

Maybe some categories for the hardcore commuters - got handlebar muffs?

Kickstarter credit?

bob and john > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 09/12/2020 at 10:25

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there are a few VERY old bike that have longitudinal mounted I4...but like,, hard core vintage american

but yes, these are good suggestions

bob and john > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 09/12/2020 at 10:26

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...really? wow. 

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:34

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I was unaware of those, but that’s kind of my point though. Those things are already getting points elsewhere. Maybe for engine mounting, points for it being a stressed member vs rubber mounted?

And to determine points totals categories, think of 10-15 at least different bikes and come up with points total for them. What's a boss hoss worth? Nc700x? Vincent black shadow? "Generic"sport bikes? Etc. It'll take a while but it should be easy to categorize from there.

Tohru > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:34

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How many points is it worth if it doesn’t run and is inside my house?

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > pip bip - choose Corrour 09/12/2020 at 10:39

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I went with “naked”

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > OhCrikeyTheRozzers 09/12/2020 at 10:39

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Hardcore commuters aren't the bike though. That's all about the rider. Who needs muffs when you have heated grips and good gloves?

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:40

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Mopeds aren’t motorcycles, unless you ask the cop who pulled me over on it and tried to ticket me for having no helmet

jminer > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:51

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1971 CB500 - 55 points

Seems low

dropthatclutch > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 10:52

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I think this makes my girlfriends MT-03 more Oppo than my Z900 and Honda Hawk ( w/ Hondamatic transmission) combined.

dumpsterfire! > Tohru 09/12/2020 at 10:57

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-10 points for not being ridden, +5  if it’s in a living space.

bob and john > jminer 09/12/2020 at 11:04

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hence me looking for suggestions. there will be updates

Tohru > dumpsterfire! 09/12/2020 at 11:13

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It is a living space, my work-from-home desk is out of frame to the right.
Rescuing it from being in boxes because a boomer thought it’d be neat to paint it flat black and turn it into a bobber. He gave up before cutting the frame.

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 11:15

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How many points for parking it in my living room?

(Asshole landlord threw everyone out of the storage room the day before yesterday)

Tohru > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 11:18

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- All wheel drive: 100 points. Neato! Explain how.

I have a friend with a pair of Rokon Trail-Breakers. He’s let me ride one once.

Stock photo, because I can’t find the pic of me riding it. The top tube of the frame has a driveshaft to the front fork.

OhCrikeyTheRozzers > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 09/12/2020 at 11:33

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Was thinking it’d go along with the bags and whatnot in “other.” Disagree with you on the muffs though—my heated grips and gloves are great but much below 30-40  and that extra cover and wind protection is amazing.

TheJWT > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 11:52

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I think there should be categories for garish liveries, silly made-up acronyms, single seats, colored wheels, and race parts on road bikes. (f latslide carbs , dry clutches, single swingarms, etc...)

DipodomysDeserti > jminer 09/12/2020 at 11:56

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Not for a scale designed by Peter.

DipodomysDeserti > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 09/12/2020 at 11:59

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Indian made the Four for almost two decades.

DipodomysDeserti > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 12:06

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I would say add points for kickstarters and brake types. Discs, discs up front, drums in back, drums all around, drums smaller than you hand on a 500+cc bike...

bob and john > DipodomysDeserti 09/12/2020 at 12:14

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hence this being under revision. some how, a 1996 Vulcan 1500 got 115 points apperently.....

DipodomysDeserti > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 12:22

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Maybe add color too. Brown and maybe polished/bare  metal score high, fake rust scores negative.

bob and john > DipodomysDeserti 09/12/2020 at 12:29

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anything non OEM. because bikes are not often repainted....

jminer > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 12:33

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The low redline might need some lowering too. There are basic Harley's that have a 6k redline.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > OhCrikeyTheRozzers 09/12/2020 at 12:43

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Depends on the gloves. I’ve got some that are made for extra cold conditions and have comfortably ridden them down into the 20's.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > DipodomysDeserti 09/12/2020 at 12:49

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Ooh yeah! So long ago. Maybe points for longitudinal for 3 or more cylinders, otherwise we're really just giving extra points to MG and BMW. GS boomers don't need any more clout, or appearance of more clout.

DipodomysDeserti > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 09/12/2020 at 13:46

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If you want to see  some cool vintage bikes, look up detroit_antique_motorcycles on the Insta. The guy has some very cool bikes, including a couple of Indian Four’s, one of which is his daughter’s bike.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > jminer 09/12/2020 at 13:57

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My Cub scores more than that

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 13:58

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Chain drive should just be 0 and not a penalty since that’s the majority of bikes.

Maybe something for rarity/production numbers?

My Cub scores 70 but that’s only because it’s had an engine swap from a newer model.

Maybe points for fueling, ie 0 for EFI, ten points for each carb?

dumpsterfire! > Tohru 09/12/2020 at 14:14

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Excellent save, and props for attacking an actual basket case!  

jminer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/12/2020 at 14:27

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Your cub is a pretty sweet bike

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > jminer 09/12/2020 at 14:29

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It only scores more because it's had an engine swap from a newer model, which is technically a different chassis.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 15:16

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Well 75 points came from hitting the low redline score. 

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 15:33

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‘99 Kawasaki ZRX1100, 45 points? (And that’s only with the +25 for hard top box/panniers). Damn.

But but I’ve ridden it through 30 something states, in mud & snow & hundreds of miles on dirt, so I’m pretty happy with my low-scoring porky pig. 

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > DipodomysDeserti 09/12/2020 at 16:01

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Cool insta page! I've seen the collection at Barber Motorsports museum, and for me, nothing beats a classic Vincent.

pip bip - choose Corrour > bob and john 09/12/2020 at 20:27

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i end up with 65 pts.

assuming i’m doing it right.

1973 Suzuki F50

oldmxer > bob and john 09/13/2020 at 05:23

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woo hoo! 30 points, how about points for anti lock brakes?

XJDano > bob and john 09/13/2020 at 21:32

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60 points

A quick google shows 50HP, so either put the 50 in the 0 points or 5 points. It’s kind of silly to do 0-49hp or 51-90  but for a bike like mine it’s categorized in both. Or leave it, it’s only 5 points  lol  

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > bob and john 09/14/2020 at 09:43

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Nice!

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > bob and john 09/15/2020 at 10:06

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My Marauder got 35 points. Yeah that’s fair. Mid weight metric cruisers are not cool. But I like it!

The Xt200 got 45. Also pretty fair it’s hella fun time but it also a 200. It ain’t fast.

On the body styles there’s not Dual sport, ADV, or Enduro. 

crash red hot > bob and john 09/15/2020 at 20:21

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20-year-old Ducati Monster: 70 points

it’ll be worth 10 more next year when it turns 21

2nerkid > bob and john 09/15/2020 at 22:23

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So my garage is:

25 points - 2016 Yamaha XSR900

10 points - 2006 Yamaha FZ6

30 points - 1991 Yamaha XT350

15 points - 2020 KTM 390 Adventure

Definitely not what I expected, or how Oppo each of them relatively feels.

I lumped Austria in with Germany.

I wouldn’t say the age of your bike necessarily means you know how to wrench... besides being able to pay someone else to fix your problems, my enduro is 30 years old and I’ve never changed its oil, its turn signals don’t work, and I haven’t had a functional front brake the majority of the time I’ve owned it. Perhaps a follow-up question asking if the bike is fully functional?

Redline over 18k? Like... three bikes had that, and they were all 250s... Maybe drop this a little bit? Could make a sub- range of 14-18k and award 20 points or something.

You’re forgetting Adventure (3. Body Style) unless you count that as part of D irt/ Sport Touring? I’d award negative points to an Adventure bike (and I say this as an owner/rider of one) - unless it’s properly utilised (which mine is) . But that may necessitate a second/sub question. Also, is a Café bike in the Naked category? Feels like it shouldn’t be. Muscle Cruiser should be 5 points imo.

2-Stroke is 30 points? In the previous question you say “ you, and everyone’s dog have a single cylinder dirt bike.” - the majority of those were 2 strokes. Why does commonality get deducted in one question and rewarded in the next? I can see why an RD50 0 or Kawi H 2 deserves points but half the kids in my neighbourhood have a 49cc 2 smoker. How can a bike you don’t even need a license to ride earn more points than a 4 stroke?

10. Other - Single Sided Swingarm? 5 Valves? Aftermarket exhaust ?

Should weight be a question? 0-100: 100 points, 101-220: 50 points, 221-330: 20 points, 331-500: 0 points, 501-700: -5 points, 701+: -1 0 points?

J ust my thoughts, feel free to ignore entirely.